I write these articles because I learned this the hard way, in my own marriage: how to catch what’s happening in my body, name it, and say it out loud without blowing up the room or going quiet. Nobody handed me a playbook for that.

Each one starts with a true moment with my wife, Lyndsey: what I did, what it cost us, and what I found underneath it.

Woven in are stories from the men I work with, what I learn sitting across from them, and the things they discover along the way.

I’d rather show you how I’m learning all of this than tell you what to do.